Sorry, I can’t come.

I should be at a Bachelorette Party. It is on right now. I am at home instead, in my tracky dacks (that means tracksuit pants for anyone not fluent in Aussie slang).

I was talking to the woman this party is for about a month ago. It was during the day time. It was a high tea. She wanted mothers to bring their daughters. It was pretty much the most baby friendly bachelorette party you could think of. So I told her I would come and bring Bub.

The invite arrived in the mail a week later. As I was reading it Anxious Mum Syndrome kicked in and kicked me hard.

It is an hour drive away! What if Bub cries the whole time in the car? Would this place have a change table? Would I have Bub in the stroller or the carrier? What if I can’t get her to sleep? What if Bub screams like a maniac at the party? Will everyone think I am a bad mum? What if she doesn’t feed properly? What if strangers want to hold her? What if Bub gets passed around too much? What if she gets OVERSTIMULATED!?!?

It was all too overwhelming and I was freaking out. I talked to my partner about it. Unfortunately for me (but fortunately for him), he does not suffer from anxiety, so he doesn’t always know the best thing to say. “You are worrying about this way too much,” I was told. I tried not to think about it in the following days but it was often in the back of my mind. So when it came time to RSVP…..sorry, I can’t come.

Do I regret my final decision? No. Bub is content and asleep. I am calm and relaxed. The planet is revolving, everything is sweet. The only downside is a few negative thoughts still in my head.

I feel guilty and slack because I am not helping a wonderful bride to be celebrate her upcoming wedding. She not only came to my bachelorette party, but planned the thing.

I feel ashamed because I see my cool mum friends on facebook going out with their babies and doing stuff. I wonder why I can’t be like them.

I feel embarrassed and stupid because the rational part of my brain knows that everything would have been fine if I went, and if it wasn’t, I would have handled it.

I feel like the people who don’t know me well enough will judge me and not understand why I didn’t go.

Just wait until I have to go to the wedding!

Have you ever said no to something because of Anxious Mum Syndrome? If it has happened or ever happens in the future then you are not alone. I am with you and I understand, so does my new friend Katey.

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